I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
