you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
