I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
