I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
