My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
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The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize