you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That accounts for only three of the penises
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
