so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's never too late to be topless.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
