We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
