i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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