i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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