She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
