As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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