God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
her vagine was all disorganized.
Buhtt sex?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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