Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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