I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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