her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize