Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
