some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
