Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Randomize
