apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
