he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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