someone get that fucking seahorse.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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