I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
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Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
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I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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