The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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