im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
