I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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