i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
