Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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