Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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