What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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