are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
