did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
