I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
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The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
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I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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