I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
