WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
