I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
