Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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