Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
