The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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