Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
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My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
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Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
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