Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize