well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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