Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
