words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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