So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
