yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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