4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
