Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
