Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
