He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
