Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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