can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
