is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
