i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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