Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
