either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I smell like Dick and happiness
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
