i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize