apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
