I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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