wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
