I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
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he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
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When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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