Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I had to cum in my sink.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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